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| S T A R W A R S E P I S O D E I : T H E P H A N T O M M E N A C E |
| I Hantam* Menace
There are already countless articles and reviews about The Phantom Menace; many derogatory, while a few are brave enough to defend it. Because much ground has already been covered, there isn’t much I could add that you wouldn’t have already read from other better-known review establishments, except to write about the experience of re-watching what is popularly acknowledged as the worst chapter in the Star Wars anthology. |
| R E V I E W S |
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| Synopsis: Basically the origin story of Darth Vader a.k.a. Anakin Skywalker a.k.a. (spoiler!) Luke’s dad from the original Star Wars trilogy**, it starts out unusually with a plot concerning the Trade Federation’s “trade dispute” with planet Naboo, which has escalated to the point where war is rather imminent. To resolve the crisis, the Galactic Republic (equivalent to an intergalactic United Nations) sent two Jedi (laser sword-wielding mystic space monks) as mediators. Inevitably, some Jedi action ensued, interspersed with more trade dispute-related businesses and cringe-inducing Jar Jar antics before the Jedi finally crossed paths with a cute, chirpy eight-year-old Darth Vader (Jake Lloyd). No prizes for guessing what happens next. |
| Flash forward seven years later; probably my fourth or fifth time re-watching the movie in full (most other times I was only revisiting that fight sequence), I still fall asleep upon reaching the Pod race sequence. However, the once ridiculous Midi-chlorian and Immaculate Conception nonsenses in Menace managed to go down better this time round, thanks to that one short anecdote about Darth Plagueis from Sith that surprisingly made all the difference. Admittedly, The Phantom Menace works better sans the expectations brought about by the excitement and hype at the time. If you take it as an average sci-fi actioner, it actually fares way better in production design, coherence, and entertainment value than crap like Chronicles of Riddick and Doom. But the rest of the awful bits still hurt enough to put it on a low Average, although it has definitely advanced from my original 1999 Sucks mental rating.
- BMF |
| A long time ago in a country far, far away… Sydney, Australia to be exact, I watched this movie on the third day after opening, and boy, was I disappointed. Nearly everything about it was awful – the boring trade dispute plotline, the nauseous kiddy-fication of such a badass character as Darth Vader, and the criminally uninteresting CG action, particularly the sleep-inducing Pod race. Most offending though, was walking fart joke Jar Jar Binks, whose annoying high-pitched voice and toilet humour stuck out like a sore thumb in the Star Wars universe, and was a precursor to the annoying, talking animal characters that would dominate American CG animation in the years to come. Ironically, Menace also happens to contain the best lightsaber orgy in the entire series, the two-on-one fight between Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson), Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and a two-sided lightsaber-wielding Darth Maul (Ray Park). Speaking of Darth Maul, his character was the best example of how oblivious George Lucas was (pre-Revenge of the Sith) to his audiences, in that consciously or no, he had his most compelling Menace character marginalised to a near non-speaking Bond henchman role*** (à la original trilogy’s Boba Fett). |
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| *hantam: Malay for 'pummel' **Star Wars: A New Hope (1977), Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980), and Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983) ***Before you trash me for being an ungrateful, raging Lucas-basher, realise that I was pretty impressed with Revenge of the Sith, and since I paid hard-earned money for many Star Wars tickets, DVDs, and merchandise, I should have every right to complain. |
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