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| S T A R W A R S E P I S O D E I I : A T T A C K O F T H E C L O N E S |
| Less Jar Jar, more Boba Attack of the Clones is the second episode in the Star Wars saga, and picks up a good ten years after where we left off in The Phantom Menace. Synopsis: The Galactic Republic is now facing violent opposition from separatist factions sympathetic to the Trade Federation’s cause. When the separatists’ assassination attempt on now-Senator Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman) failed, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and his apprentice Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) were sent to investigate and protect the senator. While Kenobi pursues a lead left by notorious bounty hunter Jango (father of Boba) Fett (Temuera Morrison), Anakin is left to protect Padmé, but faces more daunting challenges – raging hormones, mommy issues, and hokey dialogues. |
| 3 D E C 2 0 0 6 |
| R E V I E W S |
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| *Star Wars: A New Hope (1977), Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980), and Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983) |
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| Finally, we’re out of the Phantom Menace kiddie territory (with much lesser Jar Jar screen time, thank the maker), but on to the next worse thing – adolescence. Anakin has morphed from cutesy tot to whiny, foaming-mad teen with a tendency to spew mawkish pick-up lines such as “you are in my soul, tormenting me”. I understand that any great villain should have a maligned past that made him the way he is, but I was thinking in the lines of “ragged, mischievous pickpocket with a huge chip on his shoulder, rescued by the Jedi from a life of extreme poverty and crime,” not “slave brat who’s well-treated by everyone (the worst he got from his slave master was a raised tone), and being constantly told that he’s some kind of a messiah, yet still bitches about how sh*tty he’s being treated”. |
| Thankfully, we only need to endure this for half the movie, at most. The other half is classic Eighties action adventure fun (think Indiana Jones, Back to the Future, etc.), where we follow Obi-Wan Kenobi on his exploits. While Teen Vader’s busy tonguing an older woman, Old Ben’s halfway round the galaxy tracking down an assassin, but discovers a whole lot more in the process. Because this story path references the original trilogy* the most, fans will be geeked out by stuff such as a CG-fied Yoda training Jedi younglings, the origin of the Stormtroopers, Kenobi facing off Jango Fett, an intense space chase/battle sequence, and just plain watching a Jedi do some detective work. Kenobi’s and Anakin’s paths would later converge into a large-scale battle involving the Jedi, the droid army, an insect-like alien race, and who else but the guys in white armour of course! Oh, not forgetting the now-obligatory lightsaber finale, with a crowd-pleasing intervention from one little, green friend. The Phantom Menace's lightsaber fight is still the more technically impressive, but Clones' compensates with a greater sense of spectacle. |
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| You may have noticed my negative ramblings about Clones in my earlier Episode 3 review, but it seems that Clones is actually quite entertaining once you stop expecting too much out of it. Still, the Anakin-Padmé romance was so bogged down by corniness that it could have single-handedly ruined the entire movie if the other parts never measured up. Thankfully, they did, and they did it with such old-school pizzazz that I’m compelled to revise Episode Two's rating to a high 'Average'. - BMF |
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