















Who's Uwe, you say? Well, if you have seen any of the movies above (Bloodrayne, Alone in the Dark, In the Name of the King: Dungeon Siege, and House of the Dead), you have already experienced some of his handywork. Considered to be one of the worst movie directors ever, Boll generated quite a bit of hate from his lacklustre efforts in adapting video game franchises onto the silver screen, particularly from net-savvy game fans and movie critics. In response, he offered them a once-in-a-lifetime chance to slug the director in a boxing match, which some people got more than what they bargained for. Now he's daring people to compile a petition with a million signatures, the only thing that will compel him to leave showbiz for good. Not that I'm defending him, because I've only seen Bloodrayne so far (which was pretty B-grade bad), but it was hardly the worst movie I've ever saw. You want bad? See Dracula 3000. It's probably because of his prolificity in making bad movies about games that riled fans up. Despite his notoriety, he was still able to talk celebs like Ben Kingsley, Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, Jason Statham, John Rhys-Davies, Ron Perlman and Michael Madsen into appearing in his movies. Must be quite a charmer. Anyway, if you ready do hate him that much, sign the "Stop Dr. Uwe Boll" petition here. Or better yet, start a petition in favour of Boll, well, because he's asking.
Written by James Ellroy, writer of L.A. Confidential, and directed by David Ayer, who wrote Training Day. Stars Keanu Reeves, Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie, Chris Evans and Naomie Harris. This could be good. See other movies showing here.
Frank Miller, the comic book auteur who created Sin City, 300 and the ultimate Batman story, The Dark Knight Returns, is adapting Will Eisner's comic series The Spirit, and will also be directing the movie. He said that he'll be using the same bluescreen techniques from Sin City and 300, but judging from the posters it looks like he might be using the same black-and-white aesthetics as well. The movie stars Gabriel Macht as The Spirit, and Samuel L. Jackson as his nemesis, The Octopus. Scarlett Johansson and Eva Mendes play The Spirit's love interests. Movie's due 16 January 2009. More info here.
If you noticed my expenditures recently, they are on the high side, due to movies that are only screened in limited theatres, often the ones located far from where I am. I've had to pay more just to make sure I'm able to make it to the showing. I have no choice with the five Oscar Best Picture nominees, but I do have a choice with the others. Unless it is absolutely necessary, or the movie's highly anticipated, I will wait for the DVDs instead. This will not affect blockbuster movies as they are usually available at the cinema in front of my apartment. I might still watch those affected movies released later in the year, if their DVD releases won't make it before my annual cut-off time every early March, right after the Oscars.
This coming week's slew of movies seem lacklustre. If you're in the US, I would recommend 21, which is likely to be the number one movie of the week. But since it's not showing in Singapore, Malaysia and some say in Batam, you might want to check out Be Kind Rewind, which already premiered last week. Talks about a bunch of video store clerks who reshot the movies they accidentally erased. Instead of being appalled by ridiculously shoddy re-enactments of famous movies, the customers actually loved them! Reviews are mixed, but tell me you're not a little bit curious? Directed by the guy who directed the awesome Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. See other movies showing here.
Singapore's largest cinema chain, Golden Village has raised ticket prices by fifty cents since last Thursday. Standard prices on weekdays are between $7.50-$8.50 instead of $7-$8. Premium shows and selected promotional items will not be affected. Price increase is due to rising costs and inflation. Two months back, Cathay made the first move, plus slapping an additional 50 cents on "blockbuster" movies. Question: how would you know whether a movie would bust blocks before you start pricing and selling its tickets? If my calculations are correct, that means I'm spending 7% more this year, or have to watch 7% less? (I'm on a budget.) Oh well, I guess I'll be spending more time at the DVD rental shop this year then. Good luck on the price hikes, guys.
Empireonline.com reports The Matrix directors' upcoming movie project, to be directed by V for Vendetta director James McTeigue and stars Korean heartthrob Jung Ji-Hoon a.k.a. "My Name is Rain." Also, he likes black. Black looks good. Article here.
Don't miss this ride

So reports Hong Kong movie blogger The Golden Rock on Empress' Hong Kong box office result. Reason? It wasn't shown in Cantonese. That's it - I'm watching this one right away.
It's not mine. I got it from former America's Next Top Model Season 1 contestant, Elyse Sewell's Live Journal. She regularly posts pictures and anecdotes about her adventures in modelling, and they're pretty funny stuff.
That's what I felt like doing to the car of the person who schedules the Oscar movies in Singapore. But I wouldn't know who that person is, or even know where to begin to find his car. Furthermore, I don't plan on going to jail for it, so I'll have to be contented with Walter doing the deed on my behalf.
A really stupid caveman movieThus, It goes without saying that 10,000 B.C.'s weakest attribute is its storyline. It's a shameless rip-off of Apocalypto's first half and Stargate's second, also an Emmerich movie. Circa 10,000 B.C., a group of horsemen pillaged a tribe of mammoth hunters, and captured some of its people, including blue-eyed prophecy child Evolet (Camilla Belle). Her boyfriend with the rapper-sounding name D'Leh (Steven Strait) immediately embarks on a rescue mission, together with mentor Tic'Tic (Cliff Curtis, who's in everything these days), rival hunter Ka'Ren (Mo Zinal) and recently-orphaned Baku (Nathanael Baring). They travel beyond the mountains of their icy plains to discover Africa, and then, within walking distances, Egypt. There, he finds his people being forced to work on building pyramids for a mysterious, god-like figure. D'Leh may lack modern weaponry and Kurt Russell, but luckily the Egyptian slave masters don't shoot plasma bolts from their staffs. He manages to round up an army of African natives to help him, because, conveniently, he also happens to be the Chosen One. He proves this by making friends with a sabretooth in one of the most intellectually insulting sequences ever. But it can't beat the one where a witch doctor revived a dead person by exhaling a misty puff of breath from hundreds of miles away. Meanwhile, D'Leh's hot girlfriend gets thrown into the company of thousands of deprived and depraved primeval men without causing much incident, a la Rambo 4 and Pirates of the Caribbean.
Faring badly too are the action sequences, which managed to take the best from Jurassic Park, Stargate, and 300, and actually made them worse. For example, it cribbed 300's spear-throwing finale, but lacking 300's editing sensibilities, 10,000 B.C.'s scene just plainly unfolds without ever bothering to build any semblance of suspense. Next thing you know, the villain's dead, and... that's it? The one action scene that we don't often see elsewhere is the mammoth hunt, which should have been the movie's highlight. But the ferocity of these ancient creatures barely even registers, which made the hunt no more exciting than if they were hunting regular-sized elephants. Although I like action, I'm not a gore lover, but this is one instance where a movie might have benefitted from some blood-letting.
For the record:
Emmerich movies: Stargate > Independence Day > The Day After Tomorrow > The Patriot > Universal Soldier > Godzilla > 10,000 B.C.Directed by Roland Emmerich (The Day After Tomorrow, The Patriot) and screenplay by Emmerich and Harold Kloser (debut). Stars Steven Strait, Camilla Belle, Cliff Curtis, Affif Ben Brada, Mo Zinal, Nathanael Baring, Mona Hammond, Marco Khan and Omar Sharif as The Narrator.
Revered internet movie critic MaryAnn Johanson, a.k.a. The Flick Filosopher has posted a link to one of my cartoons on her site! See the post here!
The annual Academy Awards, probably the most revered event in Hollywood even if some people like to pretend it isn't important, was held for the 80th year last Sunday (Monday in Singapore time.) While ratings for the broadcast were at it lowest, there were as much defenders for the show as well as naysayers. But just try answering this question: have you or would you ever whole-heartedly recommend this three-to-five-hour show to any of your friends or relatives?

State Wars
Just only a week after Brad Renfro died from presumably an overdose, we have another actor fallen victim to drugs. It was pretty shocking news, because I was so looking forward to his take on the Joker in the upcoming Batman movie, The Dark Knight. Admittedly, I was also skeptical about his casting at the beginning.
(Warning! Spoilers ahead!)
In case you missed them, here are some inconsequential ramblings about the movies I've seen recently:Yup, it's not April yet, and the video above is the evidence. What, you're surprised that a person like George Lucas would hawk his wares like this? Play as Yoda on the Xbox360 and Darth Vader on the PS3. More details at this link.
Recently, the Car Freak a.k.a. Spoovans posted a rather bizarre review of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Bad writing or insane genius? You be the judge! I've uploaded an edited version of his review here. It might give you an understanding of how this movie freak thinks, or it might only give you a headache! Best of all, he managed to squeeze one short automobile-related comment near the end! Click on this link, if you dare!
Back to haunt every parent's wallet - the new Transformers Animated! Haven't seen a single episode yet, but based on the artwork on its site, the style is just not right in conveying the metallic giant robots' mass and weight. Looks more rubbery and plasticky, just like the toys, but maybe that's the intention. Anyway, I was quite skeptical about the animated Star Wars: Clone Wars series' use of Powerpuff Girls' art-style, but the cartoon made me eat my own words by having Jedi battle scenes that are far, far more awesome than any of the live-action movies'. Maybe this Transformers will be another Clone Wars-type of awesome. Who knows?